What In The World Is My Problem Meets The Church Search : and both blog series mercifully end.

When I started this blog about 9 months ago one of the things I said I wanted to do was to allow my thoughts on a particular subject to arc over several entries. I’ve written about culture, nationalities, art, seasons, books and anything else that God has stirred in my heart. This summer and into the fall I’ve written two rather serious series in which I’ve written very honestly and personally concerning big things God is doing in my heart. They are about our search for  a new church home here in our new city and about the roots of some of my recurring personal issues. And I never really saw the two as being connected until now. So it is sort of comical to me that I can conclude both of those series now with the same entry.

By the time you will read this Jeff and I will have joined a local church and begun teaching a college student Sunday school class. There are too many details to really connect all the dots of how this has come together so here are the highlights.

1. Even though the church we are joining is more traditional than we thought we would end up at, it has become obvious to us that here is where God wants us to plant and serve, to raise our kids in a community that loves the Lord, His word and tries with genuine effort to live out the great command and great commission. It is actually quite a nice feeling to be somewhere instead of on the way.

2. The southern traditional church culture around here is just a culture – and as a missionary everywhere I go, I must learn to adapt and figure out ways to express my Christian faith in an authentic, yet culturally appropriate way. Of course part of my problem is that after living for years outside of this context, my first response to my home culture is contempt. Shame on me. I’ve got to find a way to be part of solutions here rather than part of the problem – just the same as if God had called me to live in Europe or Asia instead of suburban Atlanta.

3. Jeff and I have realized that we are better when we are serving together, when our lives are more intertwined ministry-wise rather than running parallel. By returning to teaching and shepherding together (which we’ve pretty much always done our entire married lives) with an age group we love, we are already more optimistic and energetic about our lives here.

4. God can’t steer a parked car. While we’ve needed a season of rest and recovery after a long hard year of disappointment and relocation, it is time to start moving. We’ve got to create opportunities in our lives for God to move, to change us, to use us. That means it is time for us to start moving again spiritually through service. Even if this opportunity isn’t the one we end up in, we are still trying something and giving God an opportunity to steer us. It wouldn’t surprise me if we end up doing this for years. It also wouldn’t surprise me if this opened the door for whatever the next opportunity is. Regardless, it just feels good to be moving again.

5. For me, it feels like something of this season of great transition, of unsettled unhappiness that is a typical by-product of many moves, is drawing to a close. I’m not saying I’m not still thinking about deep and challenging things. But the time where this move and the last year’s events are wrecking havoc in my spirit is almost over. Sort of like how a church bell gongs with great force the first few rings, and then gradually lessens as its inertia spends itself.

It appears that finding our church home is bringing resolution to some of my issues, which is sort of how I think God designed it to work. We need other people and we need to be in community. So this just might be a very logical way to bring closure to this particular season of life.

The Church Search pt. 8 – Oh God, You Must Be Kidding Me

Prologue: To get the real benefit of this post, you need to read the previous one in this series. Click here. But the short version is that we visited the church I was a member of when I lived in our new city 17 years ago. It was the one church I was totally resistant to trying because of style reasons. And the fact that I am such a

Architecture is definitely dated but what went on inside was timeless.

different person now – I just couldn’t imagine going backwards. Here’s the post:

“Darn it, darn it darn it! I liked it! I liked it a lot!”

These were my thoughts this past Sunday afternoon after visiting my old church, the one I was a member of 17, count them, 17 years ago! I loved being a part of that church. They loved me and it was a very positive experience. But…I was sure I wouldn’t fit there anymore. It was way on the traditional side then and I am so not on the traditional side now. And yet…here’s  what happened.

As soon as I walked in the door I ran into Mr. B., the mother of one of the 8th grade girls in the Sunday School class I taught way back then. Backstory: one of my first regular teaching and mentoring experiences was at this church with a group of wonderful 8th grade girls. They were so special to me that they all came to my wedding. Not only did Mrs. B remember me, she remembered coming to my wedding and said, “You were so good for my daughter, such a good influence. I am so glad you are here today. She will be thrilled to see you. Good things are happening here now…” She and her family were some of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. We used to joke that an argument in their house sounded like this, “You go first.” “No, you go first.” “No, really, I want you to go first.” You get the picture. It was a great start to the day.

Next, the worship was very sweet and authentic. Evidently I was in the contemporary service (they still do traditional at 9am). It wasn’t  a slick mega church production but it seemed to fit to them perfectly, which is what you want. It’s not the style that matters but the heart behind the style. They sang songs like they meant it. And the song selection included some  that were personally meaningful to me. I had to hold back tears 3 separate times. Darn it!

Then the pastor led the congregation in prayer. And it wasn’t a show. It was the real thing, a bit raw, but he was really asking God to come in and move in the service and in the lives of the people there. It was refreshing to say the least. The sermon was solid, not flashy, but obviously from a pastor who knows something of how the Gospel hits real life. It sounded not like a theologian and not like a professional communicator, but like a PASTOR speaking to people he loves.

And here is the really interesting part – the congregation was noisy. I can’t quite describe it as I’ve never really seen anything like it, but it was very positive. They were interacting and responding to what the pastor was saying. He would make a point and people would nod and murmur their agreement. Not the showy “Amen brother” and “Preach it!” that you’ll sometimes hear, but a general hum through the congregation that said they were very engaged in what he was teaching. Imagine that, a congregation engaged in the teaching of God’s Word in a way that showed they were listening, open to God speaking to them and thinking through what this meant for them.

And then, as we were leaving and picking up Abby, we found out that one of the boys in her preschool class was also in her Sunday School class. And his parents were so warm and welcoming, inviting us to their small group (which coincidentally, is the same class of someone Jeff works with) and they just said over and over, “We love it here. You will too. You have just got to come back!” In fact, we got a visit on the Tuesday afterwards from someone from the church and he was such a cheerleader for his congregation too. He said, “I just love the church. They are like family to us. We hope you’ll come back and visit with us again.” People who really love their congregation and are all in? “Wow” is the word that comes to mind.

Sooooooooooooo…..what does this all mean?

I think we are going back tonight for church on Wednesday night. And most likely this coming Sunday. Beyond that I’m still non-committal at this point. Such a big decision requires a lot of time, information, experience and prayer.

But all I can think to say is, “Oh God, you must be kidding me…” The one church I was sure was not an option, the one I didn’t even want to visit is now not only the front-runner in our minds and affections, but I just might even be getting excited about.

The Church Search – pt 6 The Unexpected Twist

I know, I know, recently the blog has taken on slightly schizophrenic undertones, what with so many threads of thought weaving all over the place. Here’s why…First, I’ve had several entries scheduled for months ahead of time and they post automatically, regardless of what’s going on in my life. If I waited till the perfect time, I’d never get around to publishing them, so the schedule stands. Then, there’s my actual life. And whether you all realize it or not, you are my online therapy, saving me perhaps thousands of dollars that would be spent on an actual professional counselor, by allowing me to process here what is going on in my heart. These entries are those revolving around my “now” life and what is going on in it. And since I’ve got quite a bit going on right now, what with my trip to Europe, our recent move and all I’ve got to think through regarding those, well, the blog might bounce around for a bit. I hope you’ll join me for the ride.

With that in mind, I’d like to revisit a series I’ve been working on this summer, documenting our search for a new church home in our new city.

I lived in the city we are in several years ago. As in, 17 years ago, right before I got married and moved to the other side of town. And now we’ve moved back to my previous home town, such as it is. As if coming home later in life isn’t fodder enough for hours of therapy and non-stop moments of comic/tragic Freudian slips, that means that the search for a church home isn’t taking place in a completely neutral setting. I’m actually familiar with some of the churches in the area. Granted, I’m familiar with who they were 17 years ago, but memories die-hard and it still means I often have preconceived notions of what to expect.

And oddly enough, the one church that I thought was completely off the table was my old church home, the one I was a member of from college up until I moved away to get married. It’s not that there was anything wrong with that church. I must say, they were wonderful to me. They loved me, odd little girl that I was, with these really, really rough but potential ministry gifts, giving me many opportunities to try them out and lots of encouragement as I sought God’s will for my life. The problem isn’t doctrine or leadership  or any of the big things that would disqualify a church from our search.

It’s that the church as I knew it was soooooooooo traditional. In my early 20′s the only thing I knew about church involved organs, old timey hymns, steeples, choir robes, Sunday school and Sunday night church, church camps in the summer, church dinner and prayer meetings on Wednesday and committee meetings. Lots of committee meetings. And their expression of church involved all of those things. The very things that now drive me absolutely nuts in how they are miles away from how normal people in modern times choose to express their faith. If a 12th century monk showed up today and tried to start a worship service here and now, with the practices of his day including chanting, standing through the service, self-punishment and services in Latin, I think we can all agree that it wouldn’t go well. What worked in his time, accurate as it was in his time, won’t work in ours. I often feel the same way about how some of our churches today choose to pattern their forms.

As I’ve grown and the years have passed, it’s not that I think those traditional practices of my old church are necessarily wrong. Each body of Christ has to figure out how they will express what the gospel looks like in their lives in their cultural context. And the traditional model seemed to fit back then pretty well to the community. I’m sure it fits to many people today still. But that expression of the church isn’t anywhere near my modern worship style musical tastes, my now mostly European relational rhythms and stylistic preferences and my missional, small group, ministry/mission driven ideal of what a church should be.

In short, I am not anywhere near the same person I was. In fact, I’m not sure even I would recognize my old self if I ran into her on the street. And if my experience with churches holds true, they almost never change quickly. That means that if their cultural expression of the gospel and style choices were behind the times and out of step with “normal suburban” culture in the early 90′s (and they were) then they almost certainly are waaaaaaaaaaaay behind now.

Of course, I realize I say all this without actually having gone, so I’m more than willing to stand corrected after this Sunday. Why all this is coming up is, while I was gone, Jeff and the kids visited this church. Twice. Why? Because the kids LOVED it! I mean, they must have some kind of church kid narcotic thingy in the water over there because I asked them what they thought , and both went over the top with “It was AWESOME Mom! Can we pleeeeeeeaaaase go back this Sunday?” Now get this, because of some kind of schedule thing, my 10-year-old son and 9-year-old daughter were in the same class. And even so, they still came away singing the praises of this church, practically begging to go back. How I didn’t see the importance of my kids’ preferences coming as a big issue in our church search is beyond me. I mean, I knew their opinions would be important, but the sheer weight of it caught me off guard.

It has also taught me not to leave home for so long next time or who knows what other surprises my family will throw at me.

Jeff had some input as he actually visited the worship service, but I’ll post my thoughts on it after this weekend. So, stay tuned for the unexpected twist in our family’s search for a church home.

The Church Search pt. 4 – This Is Crazy and I’m In Trouble

As much as I’d like to believe I’m “searching” for a church home and “seeking” God’s will in this area of my life, as much as I’d like to frame what I’m doing in very spiritual terms and make it sound so much better than it actually is, I’m still “shopping” for a church.

It sort of reminds me of going to the mall and shopping for the perfect pair of shoes or a pair of pants that doesn’t make my backside look big. Does this sound crazy to anyone else?

If I am really, really honest with myself and y’all in the blogosphere (cause this is just between us, right?) I’m looking for a place that I like.

I have a hard time imagining the majority of believers in the world stressing over whether the music was authentic or the drive was convenient. I’m pretty sure there are believers out there that are just thankful to be meeting with their brothers and sisters in Christ anywhere, anytime, and not be in prison. I feel like a big fat baby, crying the moment my every need isn’t met. And I don’t want to be a baby. I want to be an adult, shouldering the responsibilities that come with adulthood.

So how do I do this, seek out a new church home, without falling victim to the blantant and pervasive consumerism that so infuses my culture, sometimes I don’t even see it. I think I’m in so much trouble here that I don’t even know how much trouble I’m in.

The Church Search pt 2 – What’s Wrong With “Nice”?

I’ve heard Andy Stanley say, “If you want to reach people no one else is reaching you’ve got to do things no one else is doing.” In other words, the form of church as suburban Americans do it has been around long enough that it has probably reached all the people it is really going to. It will take something radically different to engage the majority of people who aren’t interested in church in its present form. This doesn’t mean those folks aren’t interested in the message of the church. Any conversation with most people will reveal a spiritual itch that is just begging to be scratched. What I said is that the form of church the majority of evangelical Christians choose to assume is evidently culturally irrelevant for those it is trying to reach. (Assuming of course, that the church is actually trying to reach those who are not yet believers, which I realize is a big assumption.)

With that framework…The first church we visited appears to be …very…nice. The people were nice. The service was nice. The facilities were nice. Someone even came to visit us at our home the next day (not as nice) but they brought some fresh-baked bread, which was very nice indeed.

We could go to a church like that and it would be nice enough. We could stay busy. Probably make a lot of good friends. But if you know Jeff and I at all, we are not cut out for that type of church. “Nice” isn’t always compelling. Chick Fila is nice. Spring is nice. A comfortable chair is nice. Somehow I want to use a different word for my church. We have an unusual gift set that calls us to go to the periphery of evangelical culture. In other words, because we want to be where those people who aren’t interested in “church as we’ve always done it” are,  I’m afraid  such “niceness” would eventually kill us.

The Church Search- pt 1

This past Sunday we began a process that, while I deeply loathe could prove to be very educational and rather humorous. For the first time since 2004 we’ve got to look for a new church home. For the record, I’m not a church hopper. I believe that you stay where God plants you and only in those deep, non-negotiable, long term relationships can you let God stretch and grow you. Leaving too soon only robs you of one of the ways God shapes and molds us into His image, and of the chance to develop really good friendships. Of course, there are many legitimate reasons for changing churches though, (I should probably blog on some of them…hmmm…good idea;) and moving to a new city clearly falls into one of those categories.

Stay tuned for my thoughts on the state of the church in the Northwest suburbs of Atlanta.