I Updated My iTunes Account – Finally!

When I’m not collecting thoughts here on the blog or feeding my tribe at home, occasionally I travel a bit and communicate Bible truths to university student and women’s groups. One of my favorite things to do is to lead retreats – those times when I get to interact with God and His people, with the Bible and our hearts wide open.

I’ve finally updated my iTunes account with a few of my recent teachings/lectures/talks. If you are interested in giving them a listen, you can click here or on the link at the end of this post or on the iTunes link to the right. All talks were recorded on a digital voice recorder with no microphone, so fair warning on the audio quality.

Me in Berlin, teaching at the Connexxion Women's Retreat.

Five of the talks are from the Connexxion Women’s Retreat in Aug. 2011 in Berlin. (You can read about it here.) The topic was The Beauty of Clarity – seeing God’s hand in our lives clearly changes everything.  The main idea is that God works in our lives in seasons – longer periods of time centered around particular themes or activities. How can we learn to recognize what God is already doing in our lives and cooperate with Him, rather than fighting or ignoring Him? While each can stand alone, they were written and given in a sequence that built on each other. And I hope if you give it a listen, you can hear very clearly my deep affection for the German women there. This retreat was a labor of great love for me. The sessions are entitled:

1. Where Are You On God’s Calendar For Your Life?

2. What’s The Next Step

3. When Your Heart Shatters

4. If God Were To Name You?

5. How Do I Respond To God’s Call On My Life?

The other two talks come from a series I gave to a group of cross-cultural workers in the Germanic speaking countries, also in Aug. 2011. The invitation to speak to this group was one of the highest privileges and honors I’ve ever been given. My topic was The Main Thing In Missions Is Integrity. People don’t fail in ministry (or life) because of a lack of skill. They fail because of unresolved character flaws. Learning to let God address the condition of our heart and not just our outward behavior is the key to a life and ministry that goes the distance. The talk entitled The Main Thing In Missions Is Integrity is one of the most important I’ve ever done – in terms of how much it cost me to learn these lessons and how they have changed my life personally. If you listen to just one talk from me, I suggest you make it that one. They are entitled:

1. The Main Thing In Missions Is Integrity

2. Practices For Building Personal Integrity

If you are so inclined, there are quite a other few older talks in the iTunes account from other things I’ve done – primarily women’s ministry type things. Shout out to my beloved Crosspointe ladies:)

More talks from a recent university retreat I gave are coming soon.

LINK TO ITUNES- CLICK HERE!!!

The Miles and Years Don’t Separate

Titus 2:3-5 ³ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴ Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵ to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

In 2008 when Jeff and I lived in Germany, I led a women’s Bible study for a few young wives. It was a crazy thing and the only reason I can say we did it is because God told us to. (How we started is a great story – but for another time:) It became one of those Bible studies where God shows up. I mean really shows up. We learned, cried, laughed and came out changed. I’m still profoundly marked by our time together, sitting on the magic couch every Tuesday evening, drinking mocha frappuccinos over God’s word. They let me practice teaching on them and much of what I teach and how I teach today was shaped in those conversations. And I find it just amazing at how God can knit hearts together across the miles and years. They are incredibly special to me. And these photos are incredibly meaningful to me.

I 

Our wives Bible study in 2011.

This past weekend in Berlin, at our women’s retreat, I just had to have this photo of us, several years later.

Here we are having breakfast - 2009 during my visit back to Germany to see them.

Our wives Bible study - 2008, a few days before I left Germany.

When I look back at how young they were…at how God has moved in our lives over the years…at how they trusted me…at how God used our time together to change me…at how powerful it was to see Titus 2:3-5 in action…and then at how God has allowed our paths to continue to cross throughout the years in earnest friendship…well, these photos are deeply significant to me.

Let The Healing Begin

So I sprained my ankle in Berlin a little over a week ago.  Did I mention in my previous post that it was pretty bad? (If you haven’t read the laugh riot, you really should. Scroll down or click here.) Cause if I didn’t, I’d like to go on record right now that it was a pretty bad sprain. I realized just how bad last night as I was looking at it, a week later and saw it was still swollen. A lot. And it still hurt me. A lot. But since that injury, I just have not had any time to take care of it.

Fortunately for me, at the retreat, there was a practicing medical doctor (shout out to my personal physician Dani:).

Everyone should have their own personal physician. Here's mine.

I knew last Friday evening as I hobbled in to the youth hostel that I needed some medical care. My body was telling me it was wounded. And I loved how she cared for me, even touching my distorted, swollen, oddly green and blackish ankle to see just how it felt. And her advice for me was, “Are you sure you don’t want to go get an x-ray?” Obviously that was smart advice. Obviously, caution was called for and the professional was saying, “Really Deanna, you should take care of that.” And obviously I’m a a terrible patient.

No doctor can make a patient receive their care. Honestly, I COULD NOT GO TO A HOSPITAL right then. I was set to speak at a retreat about two hours from that moment, a retreat many women had traveled to from England, Norway and several corners of Germany. A retreat I had been preparing for literally for months. I had to be there. Well, I’m sure they would have waited for me, but I REALLY WANTED TO BE THERE and not at a hospital. I didn’t want to risk someone else forcing me to miss the time with my beloved German friends that is so rare and so valuable to me.

My doctor’s recommendation was to rest it, elevate it and to put ice on it. The first two suggestions were out of the question for the same reason that I couldn’t go to the hospital. It was ‘go’ time for me and I had to be on my feet. And then I ask you, have you ever tried to find ice in Germany? I didn’t even know where to start or where to ask for ice to cool my ankle.

So I made a conscious decision. I decided to delay treatment of my problem. I decided to work with the pain, to risk a delay in my healing and to keep walking till I couldn’t walk any more. Even as my ankle throbbed and swelled. Even as my doctor looked at me with concern and advised me differently. Even as I knew my decision just might cost me later.

And I’m writing this one week later, it is the first night since that I’ve been able to rest my ankle, elevate it and put ice on it since I hurt it. And it feels better. The swelling has gone down. And I’m sort of kicking myself for not taking better care of myself. (Well, I’m not literally kicking myself, since I’ve got a sprained ankle – and that would hurt too much. But I digress…)

Oh, I see all sorts of spiritual applications. We all have issues. Those things in our hearts and lives that we know are hurt or hurt us, that we know are injured and will require dedicated time and effort to heal. Those things we’ve probably received advice on how to handle, yet we still make the conscious decision to do something different. Maybe it isn’t the right time. Maybe we are too busy and have too many important things in front of us to slow down. Maybe we can manage, putting some coping strategies in place. Maybe we are hoping it will go away or get better on its own.

But most deep things of the soul don’t go away. They may get submerged for a while under the urgency of now and the distractions of the present. But they will always pop back to the surface at some point. Usually when it is very inconvenient.  I am now learning this the hard way.

May I encourage you today to do something? If God is stirring something in your soul, if He is pressing on an area of your heart and whispering something like, “This is hurt, it needs attention,” then don’t stay busy. Don’t put it and Him off. Don’t insist you are too busy. Do what He says. And let the healing begin.

The Connexxion Women’s Retreat/Freizeit

The past weekend I taught at the Connexxion Women’s Retreat in Berlin Germany. Yes, I said that right. It was an amazing time for me to connect with my beloved German women and open God’s Word with them. Two of my favorite things to do, all in one of my favorite places to be. It was almost a dream come true. Here’s part of the story…

Me teaching at the Connexxion Women's Retreat

I was standing in the back of the room when I was introduced and everyone turned around to see where I was. It was too good of a photo to miss.

The ladies all waving hello before we got started.

If there was a main theme for the weekend it was this:
1. God works in our lives through seasons or big themes. It is really important that we recognize them so that we can cooperate with His working in our lives. So we spent time looking at our lives and trying to hear His voice on this topic.
2. Once you know where God wants to work in your life (and honestly, most people know where this is) then you apply a spiritual discipline to it. This practice opens the door and invites God into your life. It lays kindling down around your soul so that when God chooses to move and set things on fire for you spiritually, He has something to ignite.
3. We also talked about how every person is sitting in one of three chairs. If God is sitting on His chair, we are either in the first chair – where we hear from Him directly…in the second chair where we hear from Him but indirectly through other people who are hearing from Him directly…or in the third chair, where we are so far removed from Him we really have no idea what He is saying. Which chair are we in? And how do we move to the first chair, since that is where all the action is? We talked about that this weekend.

Which chair are you sitting in?

Circles in action.

More circles in action.

We also balanced time together in the big group with time in small groups. Women often process by talking and saying things out loud. And we don’t say the things we need to out loud unless there is a relationship in place. So, to really grasp the things of God in our lives, we’ve got to sit both in rows but also intentionally in circles. We tried to create both this weekend.

A great group photo. Here the rows are in action.

And of course, all work and no play makes for a boring time… So we also planned a picnic outdoors in a nearby park for the afternoon. This was a great, informal time to just sit in the sun, enjoy fun conversation and eat some really, really great German food.

Time outdoors when the weather is good...perfect!

This was a wonderful day to just...hang out with my beloved German friends.

And I can’t let this blog end without giving credit where it is due. My dear friends and ministry co-laborers Vera and Severina did most of the planning and organizing (of course with help from many others). They made this weekend possible so that all I had to do was just show up. I am so grateful.

Vera and Severina - the brains and hands behind the women's retreat.

My Great Berlin Photo-Op

I sometimes say, “Life is about the photo-op.” What I mean is that if God gives you great stories, then you’ve just got to share them. And everyone loves a good photo with a good story. With that in mind…

The day of the Connexxion Women’s Retreat, a friend and I were doing a little sightseeing in Berlin, cause, come on, how could you not? It’s Berlin, baby. Little problem though. As we were walking, I stepped in a hole and proceeded to turn my ankle in a really bad way. Really bad. I heard a pop, felt something stretch in a way it isn’t supposed to and realized a lot of blood was rushing to my ankle. So I hobbled over to the steps of the church we were visiting and began to think…I don’t feel so well. My stomach began turning in that dangerous way, leading me to pray, “Oh please don’t let me throw up in front of my friend.Pleeeeeeeeease, don’t let me throw up in front of my friend…” Then, my head started swimming and my vision blurred so that I couldn’t see. While I had a vague sense that what was happening wasn’t good, the next thing I knew, I was flat on my back and looking up at my friend’s very concerned face. Time had obviously passed. All I could say was, “Did I just pass out?” And all she could do was nod in the affirmative, with a facial expression that looked like she could throw up at any moment too. By this time the paramedics had been called and I had to stay put till I got the ok from the medical professionals. But how could I let this experience pass me by without the photo op?

Yeah, I'm not feeling too well right about now.

So here I am, wondering what in the world just happened.

And here I am with my wonderfully efficient German paramedics, once they determined that I did not need to go to the hospital.

The end of the story is that I was ok. My ankle swelled up like a grapefruit and I’ve got some impressive bruising, but I was able to stay on my feet for the rest of the trip. Actually, I was quite embarrassed by this. I felt foolish that I wasn’t watching where I was going and weak that I couldn’t control my body. And there was a strong spiritual element to this in the timing and in how it made me feel deep in my soul. Hurt. Vulnerable. Embarrassed. And not at 100% when my upcoming weekend demanded that I be at 120%. But I’ve found a good way to overcome embarrassment is to not be afraid to laugh at myself. And now I’ve got a pretty good story and the photos to prove it. Come on…passing out in Berlin? That’s pretty memorable, wouldn’t you agree?

A Meaningful Photo For Me

I can’t tell you how this photo makes me feel. During one of my teaching sessions at the Connexxion Women’s Retreat, someone actually found it valuable enough to take notes.

The Beauty Of Clarity – the Connexxion Women’s Retreat.

I just finished up being and teaching at the Connexxion Women’s Retreat in Berlin Germany. While I am a bit tired, I am also unbelievably happy at how things went. I’ll have to take a few entries to really do the story of the weekend justice and I want to do it justice because hopefully, I have a few readers who were there and I want them to hear my thoughts on it:)

The obligatory group photo. This by the way is one of my most valued souvenirs of my time in Europe.

Our topic was learning to see and hear God clearly in our lives (The Beauty of Clarity) – and then trying to figure out the next step we need to take in response to what we’ve seen and heard from God in our lives. Pretty basic stuff when you think about it, but wow…more difficult to apply than it seems. I had extraordinary conversations with many of the women and I can’t tell you how blessed I was with the chance to hear their hearts. One of the most consistently amazing experiences of my entire Christian life is to hear women with another heart language sing and pray and describe their experience with God, and know that we are speaking and relating to the same God.

This is me doing my thing. In Berlin. I am so blessed.

I still can’t quite believe I got to go. So stay tuned! It was a great, great weekend and I am so excited about telling the story. Just by way of preview, it involves paramedics, a great photo-op and some awesome German chocolate with pink stuff in it. How can you not come back now?

The Connexxion Women’s Retreat

So, there is something coming up that, if you keep up with me on facebook you know about, but I just haven’t gotten around to blogging about yet. I’m traveling to Germany in to teach at the Connexxion Women’s Retreat – Aug. 5-7th in Berlin. The link to the website is here https://connexxionwomen.wordpress.com/ if you are interested in some details about

Teaching at the Zoom Conference in Braunschweig

what we’ll be covering and some random thoughts in the run up to the weekend.

I can’t express how much it means to me to have the opportunity to return to my beloved Germany and spend time with many of the young women who are so special to me. It is also a tremendous opportunity for me to process out loud many of the thoughts rolling around in my head and the lessons God is planting in my heart during this season of life. Sometimes I feel what Jeremiah did when he wrote, “But if I say, “I will not mention him or speak any more in his name,” his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” Jer. 20:9

If I don’t get some of these things out, I just might explode.

I am also grateful for the time to get away, out of my normal context and engage in a series of different, life-giving conversations – a chance to give God my full attention in a way that is more challenging than in the day to day routine around here. And sometimes different scenery just prompts new streams of thought and  new levels of creativity. Jeff and I periodically do this, where we encourage the other go somewhere and do something in order to invest in our soul, spiritual well-being and sanity. Jeff’s trip to Haiti this spring was his time. Mine is just on the horizon.

Plus, Berlin is famous for their currywurst and I’m planning to eat at least one during my stay if I can.

Hot fried yum!